I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
