Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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