I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
