Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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