How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We have so much sex to catch up on
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
