yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
