I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
