Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
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