No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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