just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
