Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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