I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Randomize
