You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
My feet surprised me
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