ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
