If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize