physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize