How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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