I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize