Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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