if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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