Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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