I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize