it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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