Are we in a gay sports bar?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
