Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
