I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize
