i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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