Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
