my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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