we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
