Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I want to fling myself into the sun
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
