he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
