all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize