my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
