My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
