Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
