No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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