So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
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