When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
