He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize