Will you blow on my dice?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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