i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
