hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
