I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
When did angry sex become our thing?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
