I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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