i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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