I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
