now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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