I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
