im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
