i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
