Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
