he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Randomize
