The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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