I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
