So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
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I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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