I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
