could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
