there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize