you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
