I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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