You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
